rafe

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Contact

Rafe
A 30-day pelvic-floor challenge for men past 40

You still want her. You want to feel sure of yourself with her again.

I'm Henrik. I built Rafe at 44, after noticing what a lot of men in our members' room describe: less drive at the end of the day, nights cut up by trips to the bathroom, a body that tires sooner at work and at the gym, and a quiet wish to be the man she reaches for in bed.

Rafe is a challenge with a fixed length: 30 days, one task a day, a streak you can see and the numbers you log yourself. Below is one ordinary week of mine, day by day.

7:42Rafe
Day 4 of 30
3-day streak
Standing squeeze at the sink6 minutes, plus last night's log
Start the timer
30 daysone fixed run
4–9 minper daily task
8,100members in it

Phone, tablet and web

Days 1 to 3: lying, sitting, lifting

The first stretch of my diary. Short tasks, done where I already am.

Day 1Mon, 6 minutes

Finding the muscle, flat on my back

On my back, knees bent, feet flat on the bed. The app asks me to squeeze the muscles I'd use to stop mid-stream, count three, then let go for three. Ten rounds. I'm 47 and nobody had ever shown me this. I logged it honestly: ten rounds, lost count twice.

squeeze 3srelease 3s

The timer's rhythm for day 1. The app vibrates at each change.

Abstract macro texture of frosted glass catching soft diffuse morning light in pale orchid and lilac tones, no objects,
Day 2Tue, 5 minutes

Seated at my desk, with slow exhales

Sitting tall on the front edge of my office chair, feet hip-width apart. Breathe out as I squeeze, breathe in as I release. Nobody on my video call had a clue. In the evening I read the members' room: a few hundred men on day 2 with me, swapping where they fit the task in.

WhereAny chair, front edge, back straight
Rhythm4-second exhale on the squeeze, 4-second inhale on the release
What I logged12 rounds, done at 11:40
Day 3Wed, 8 minutes

The bridge, then a short core block

Back on the mat. Lift into a bridge, squeeze at the top for three, lower slowly. Eight bridges, then the app moves into a dead-bug drill for the core: opposite arm and leg reaching away while the lower back stays down. I logged the number of bridges where I kept the squeeze to the top.

My bridges, day 3

Filled: squeeze kept to the top. 6 of 8, my own count.

Days 4 and 5: standing up, sinking low

The middle of the week, when the streak starts to matter to me.

Day 4Thu, 6 minutes

Standing at the sink, and the night log

Standing squeezes while I brush my teeth, knees soft, weight even. Then the question the app asks me each morning: how many times were you up in the night? I type a number. It isn't a score. It's my line on my chart, and I read it the way I'd read my own step count.

321MTWTFSS

Times up in the night, as I entered them. Just the record.

Abstract macro texture of still water with faint concentric ripples under soft daylight in pale teal and mint tones, no
Day 5Fri, 9 minutes

Deep squat, hips loose

The longest task of the week. A supported deep squat, hands on a door frame, heels down as far as they go. At the bottom, a slow squeeze and release. Then 90/90 hip switches on the mat, knees rocking side to side. Friday at the gym used to be about weights for me. This one I did in the hallway.

Deep squat at a door frame5 slow squeezes at the bottom, rising between each
90/90 hip switches10 each side, slow, seated on the mat
Streak5 days, 34 minutes so far this week

Days 6 and 7: her, and my numbers

The weekend has the part of Rafe men ask me about most, and the weekly read.

Day 6Sat, a 7-minute lesson

The lesson on closeness in bed

No exercise today. A short read on how couples set themselves up for intimacy when knees, backs and long weeks have a say. Each idea is named and explained by comfort, closeness and how unhurried it is. I read it on the sofa and, later, I told my wife what I'd been doing all week.

The spoon

Both lying on your sides, facing the same way, close from shoulders to knees. Easy on the back, slow, and plenty of time to talk.

Easy on the backVery closeSlow
The headboard

You sit back against stacked pillows, she settles in front of you, face to face. Eye contact, arms around each other, no rush.

Supported backFace to faceUnhurried
The pillow

She lies back with a firm pillow placed for her comfort, you kneel close on a soft surface. The lesson covers where the pillow goes and why knees need padding past 40.

Knee-friendlyEye contactYour choice of tempo
Day 7Sun, 4 minutes

The weekly read

The last task of the week is to sit with my own numbers. Minutes per day, rounds I kept count of, the night log, and one question I answer from 1 to 5: how sure of myself did I feel with her this week? Nobody grades it. I read the pattern and decide for myself what week two looks like.

9:15Rafe
Week 1, my read
7 of 7 tasks
MTWTFSS
Minutes45
Night log, average2
Sure of myself, 1–53
Abstract macro texture of handmade paper fibers with soft side light in blush pink and pale orchid tones, no objects, no

Join the 8,100 on day one

One run of 30 days, one task each day, your streak and your numbers in the app. Choose a length below.

10:00
  • 30 daily tasks with timers, lying to deep squat
  • Your streak, night log and weekly read
  • The lessons on closeness and comfort in bed
  • A members' room of men on the same day as you

Not for you? Ask me within 14 days of paying and the full amount comes back to you.

What the members' check-ins say

Rafe has 8,100 men using it. When you join, the app asks a few plain questions. These are their answers, as given.

75%

say nobody had ever shown them a pelvic-floor exercise before they joined.

66%

do the day's task in the evening, once the house has gone quiet.

35%

have told their partner they are doing the challenge.

Self-reported answers from members who replied to the in-app check-in. You're one of them from day one, and your own numbers stay private to you.

How the 30 tasks are shared out

The run is fixed, so you can see the whole mix before day one.

Lying down
5 days
Seated
4 days
Bridge
4 days
Standing
4 days
Deep squat
4 days
Hip mobility and core
4 days
Breathing
2 days
Lessons on intimacy and comfort
3 days
Abstract macro texture of smooth pale stone grain with soft even light in lilac and mint tones, no objects, no people.

Questions members send me first

Answered by me, Henrik, the way I answer them in the app.

What happens if I miss a day?

Your streak shows the gap, and the next task is waiting where you left it. The 30 tasks stay in order. Plenty of members in the room have a gap or two in their first run; the record is yours to read.

Will anyone see my answers or my night log?

No. Your logs, ratings and streak are private to your account. The members' room only shows what you choose to post there, under the name you pick.

Do I need equipment or a gym?

A mat or a carpet, a chair, a door frame and a pillow. Every task is done at home or at a desk. If you have a health question, a doctor is the person to ask; Rafe teaches exercises and lessons.

Your streak starts at zero, like everyone's

Same 30 days I just walked you through, with the members' room open from the first task.

10:00

Not for you? Ask me within 14 days of paying and the full amount comes back to you.